18 Years: Remembering Our Honeymoon

My beautiful bride and I were wed on May 18, 1996. It is hard to fathom this reality, but we have been married for 18 years this day. It has been a journey filled with many stories, one of which I would like to share, a story from the very beginning.

Aubrey and I honeymooned in Gatlinburg, Tennessee. It really is a beautiful area and we both loved the mountains. We still sometimes reminisce about the bed and breakfast we stayed at. It sat on the side of a mountain and had floor to ceiling windows with which to enjoy the views.

What better way to immerse ourselves into this beautiful, mountainous wonderland than to take a guided mountain tour… on horseback? Sounded like a good idea. So we found a place that offered this experience and arrived with much anticipation. The tour group was small and intimate, perfect! It was just the two of us and our guide. How romantic.

Continue reading 18 Years: Remembering Our Honeymoon

Daddy Wants A New Hair-Do

DreadHeader

I’m not sure any of you remember my hair braiding incident earlier this year, but it really got me to thinking about hair styles and more importantly… experimenting with mine. I have a long standing agreement with a good friend of mine that before I cut my hair short the next time I will wear a mullet for at least a week and be sure to go into the office of wherever it is I work for at least one meeting. The corn-rows got me to thinking about another style that I want to try out before I cut off the length (from the front) of my hair. Why not dread locks?

Dread Locks Research

The first thing that I needed to do was some research. I found this site, which had explanations of all of the commonly held myths about dread locks (i.e. “you can’t wash your hair”, “you are going to stink”, “it’ll destroy your hair”). That wasn’t my only resource but it gave me a good starting point. I quickly found out that not only was I eligible to dread my hair as a white dude with straight hair, but there was a ton of information on exactly how to do it. There are quite a few different methods.

UltraDreadKitNext I found a good place for the supplies I’d need to get the job done. DreadHeadHQ has not only videos and tutorials on how to dread your hair but they have products to do it as well. I went ahead and sprung for the Ultra Dread Kit, which arrived yesterday! Of course, if you read my post from yesterday you’ll know that I have to run a half marathon this coming Saturday, November 28, 2009. So I will NOT be dreading my hair this week. And actually my wife is going to be doing most of the work.

Reactions

This is somewhat of a funny topic and a little confusing to me personally. I first started talking about dreading my hair right after the corn row incident. From that point to now the reactions of most people I tell is almost the same, “Don’t do it!!!” I mean coworkers, friends, family… all just about the same reaction. Some more adamant than others. I could understand this from my wife because she is married to me and has to live with me, but I’m not real sure I understand it from other people. Is it because I just look so dashingly handsome now that they don’t want me to change? lol – yeah right!

Well, to all those neigh-sayers I say this, “it’s just hair!” It’s not like I’m converting to Islam or something. It’s not even a body piercing or something that would affect me permanently… it’s hair. If I don’t like it I can just cut it off and start over. So relax and get used to the soon-to-be new me, because it is going to happen and hopefully before Christmas. 🙂

Jonathan Braided

This weekend we went over to some good friends house that had invited us for dinner. They are a Jamaican couple and at some point during the night Aubrey brought up to them that I had mentioned wanting to “corn row” my hair. The lady kindly obliged and let me know she’d be glad to braid my hair for me. It took about an hour and the reactions from my family were somewhat mixed. My wife said it looked freaky, my youngest daughter didn’t like it all (I think it scared her a little). My son thought it just looked goofy. I liked it though. What do you think?

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I wore it all the next day. It made my run on Saturday very enjoyable; the wind cooled my head nicely and I didn’t have to worry about hair sticking to my neck. I even attended a birthday party for someone at our church. It was fun seeing the mixed reactions and surprised looks on faces when people saw me.

Of course my silky, smooth (white people) hair didn’t want to hold it that long. It was already starting to droop a bit on the sides and in back at the end of Saturday. Mix that with the fact that I absolutely have to wash my hair every day and it was a foregone conclusion that it had to come out. The results of that were equally as humorous as you can see below. One word… poof!

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Buddy

338635_margaritaFriday night I went out to eat with my family. Indecision and suggestions floated around until Mexican was decided upon. Great! It’s been a long stressful day and I had in mind one humongous margarita.

Strike One

Having arrived at the restaurant and been seated the waitress came to take our drink orders. A quick question revealed that there was no bar at this particular Mexican restaurant. What!? A Mexican restaurant without a bar; who’s ever heard of such a thing? No bar… no beer… no margaritas. How sad.

Strike Two

The dinner dispensation process was fairly uneventful and before long I had my cold sweet tea and my Letter K. And wouldn’t you know it somebody walks up and recognizes us. That’s fine, I’m not completely antisocial. However, after the first five minutes when everyone is caught up on the how are you and how are you and where are you going to church, the conversation just keeps going on like the Energizer bunny. I started eating because I was slightly irritable not having had my Margarita. At some point I over heard the lady talking about their kid getting a cat and hoping for a boy cat, but they ended up with a girl cat, but then they were giving it a bath and oh look it really is a boy. Seriously? People are having dinner and you want to drone on about the gender of your pet cat?

Strike Three

The service to begin with was a bit slower than I’d have liked, but not too bad. After that however things really slowed down and our waitress was not extremely available, so another waiter came over to help out. He came several times filling drinks and asking if we needed anything. Much better… until.

I had finished my dinner and the kids were just picking at their food. The new waiter was clearing off unused items from the table and I heard him say, “Would you like anything for desert, Buddy?” Not only were those the words that I heard, but he said it as if he were talking to a child or a dog. That’s cool… he must be talking to my seven year old son, right? Oh nay, nay. It was quickly apparent from everyone at the table staring at me that he was actually addressing me. Buddy!?

There’s a really funny comedy skit by Dane Cook where he talks about being in a fast food restaurant and going back to the counter for ketchup. During this encounter the cashier calls him Buddy, to which he responds in like force and comedy genius ensues. That’s the only thing I could think of. Time came to a halt. The entire table was looking at me waiting for a response. A single word, “Buddy” was ringing in my ears.

At this point I figure I had three options:

  1. I could quickly grab my left shoulder with my right hand and try to bite my right ear
  2. I could respond as Dane Cook would have with a, “No thanks, Pal (or Tiger, Chief, Scooter, etc)”
  3. Or I could ignore him

I chose number three and simply shook my head no, to which my wife kindly interpreted to the insane waiter and said, “No thanks” for me.

So naturally I look over at my wife after he leaves and find that she has the biggest grin I’ve ever seen. After a second she says in a quite condescending tone, “Are you sure you don’t want desert… Buddy?” I had no choice at this point but to laugh at the situation.

No beer.
No margarita.
Buddy.

May I Take Your Order?

I stumbled across this blog post that had me laughing and in stitches. I seriously haven’t read anything this funny in a while. Apprently some guy was overseas and went out to eat at a nice restaurant. His wife informed him that the menu was in English as well. The mangled English translation was so good that the guy bought the menu from the restaurant and then posted pieces of it on his blog with commentary. Absolutely hilarious!

WARNING: There are a few choice NSFC (not safe for children) words mixed in, but it’s not blatantly obscene or anything.